// clarity v. chaos

August 14th, 2009

back after a very extended absence

8/14/09 01:33 pm

...& so it's time for a fresh journal. you can now find me at livejournal.com/users/shattersmirrors.

i'm going to add my friends from this journal onto that one [that is, if you guys still remember me!]. so if i'm not added back within a reasonable amount of time, i'll get the idea. ;-)

missed you all. sorry about the absence. i haven't been quite human in the 8 months since my grandmother's death.

livejournal.com/users/shattersmirrors. bitches.

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September 29th, 2008

(no subject)

9/29/08 08:43 am

Another crowded dance floor
Another empty glass
Another failed hello
It's your alibi
Another splendid lie
It's the bruises that you can't show

It's another lonely sunset
Another starless sky
The nervousness inside
It's the final kiss from a lover's fist
It's the reason why you can't cry

It's a violent reaction
The mixtape in your heart
The answer you should know
How we complicate, a simple mistake
It's the face you make when I go

And we tried to change
The city noise made us strange
So we plugged our ears and learned to fight
We set the stage but we could not engage so we cut all ties by candlelight

Another deep depression
The calm before the storm
The shaking in your head
How you sacrificed - how you paid the price
All the words you wish you had said

It's the rawest of emotions
Drinking to forget - names written in the snow
It's the anxious feel - purging your last meal
It's the secret that you can't know

city noise - scarling.

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December 30th, 2005

general FRIENDS ONLY junk.

12/30/05 11:30 pm

My journal is FRIENDS ONLY and mostly EATING DISORDER RELATED.
WARNING: my journal is graphic and could be HIGHLY TRIGGERING to those in recovery.
Comment to be added, or just add me. *shrug* I'm a pretty mellow person, I don't care.

However:
-- i don't tolerate complete stupidity
-- & NO, "ana" is not "lyke totally kewl" and i won't be your fucking "ana buddy"!

twenty.
diagnosed borderline personality disorder, ed-nos [307.5] & bipolar I disorder [296.42]
college sophomore-- journalism & philosophy.
writes maniacally & obsessively.
liar extraordinaire. just not in this journal.
drunkenjunky. addicted to chemicals in general.
bisexual.
plays bass & piano.
piercings: r-side lip, labret, tongue, r&l earlobes [only wear tongue regularly]
insomniac.

----------

i am exploring the inside; i find it desolate.
i do implore these confines, now, as they penetrate & recreate me.
i'm hovering throughout time; i crumble in these days.
i crumble; i cannot, i cannot find reflection in these days.

if you listen; listen, listen
listen close; beat by beat
you can hear it when the heart stops
i saved the pieces when it broke
and ground them all to dust.

i am destroyed by the inside; i disassociate
i hope to destroy the outside
it will alleviate & elevate me

"bleed black" afi

Tags:
friends only